Troll 2 (1990) Review

     As I have mentioned before, I watched many horror movies as a child.  Including the awful ones!  I was very young when my mother allowed me to rent a particular horror film, mostly because it wasn't R rated.  It was a sequel and I had not seen the first one, I just thought it looked like a cool horror flick.  A troll could be scene lurking behind a child on the cover and I was very excited to watch it.  We went home and I was finally able to watch it with my mother who told me she thought it was "really stupid" and that "we picked a really bad one this time..."  That film has since had a cult following due to how bad it was and there was even a documentary made about the film titled "Best Worst Movie".  In other words it's a film so bad that it's good.

     The story begins in a family home.  Michael has always dreamed of being a farmer, and arranges a home exchange vacation in which he and his family will move into a house in the rural farming community of Nilbog (which is "goblin" spelled backwards) for a month.  The night before the family is scheduled to leave, Michael's son Joshua is contacted by the ghost of his dead grandfather, Seth, warning him that vegetarian goblins want to transform him and his family into plants so that they can eat them.  Seth tells Joshua that goblins can turn people into plants by feeding them poisoned food or drink.

     Meanwhile, Joshua's sister, Holly, receives a visit from her boyfriend Elliot.  Holly accuses Elliot of being a homosexual since he seems to prefer spending time with his friends.  Elliot promises to show his devotion by accompanying the family on vacation.

     The next morning, Elliot fails to arrive and the family leaves without him; they encounter him en route to Nilbog, riding in an RV with his friends Arnold, Drew, and Brent.  Outside of Nilbog, Seth appears as a hitchhiker, who warns Joshua that Nilbog is the kingdom of the goblins, and that if his family eats anything while they are there, they will be turned into plants.  The family disbelieves Joshua's warnings and continue on to Nilbog.  There, Joshua sets about destroying or contaminating all of the food the family finds or acquires.

     Arnold goes for a walk outside of Nilbog and encounters a girl being chased by goblins.  They flee to a chapel in the woods, where they encounter the goblins' queen, Druid Creedence Leonore Gielgud, who uses the "Stonehenge Magic Stone" to give the goblins power. Creedence tricks them into drinking a magic potion that dissolves the girl into vegetable matter and turns Arnold into a plant.

     Joshua sneaks away from home and eavesdrops on a goblin church sermon, which bewails the evils of eating meat.  The parishioners capture him and attempt to force feed him poison ice cream; Michael walks in on the scene and becomes suspicious, taking Joshua home.

     Later, Drew goes to the town because there are no food or drinks in the RV. The sheriff takes him in his car and gives him a green hamburger.  When he arrives in the town, Drew goes to the store and the owner offers him poisonous Nilbog milk.  Feeling dizzy, he goes to a chapel and finds Arnold, who has turned into a plant.  Drew drags him out, but Creedence appears.  She knocks him out and chainsaws Arnold into pieces.  Drew is then killed offscreen.

     At the house, the family discover that the townspeople have prepared them a surprise party to apologize for the events at the church.  Joshua attempts to make contact with Seth, only for Creedence to appear in goblin form.  Seth's ghost appears and chops her hand off.  Creedence returns to her chapel, where she transforms herself into a beautiful woman in revealing clothes; she then travels to Elliot's RV, where she seduces Brent and drowns him in popcorn.

     Joshua, Elliot, Holly, Michael and Diane hold a séance to communicate with Seth, who returns from the dead and tells them that he can retain a physical form for exactly 10 minutes before he has to return to the afterlife.  Seth gives Joshua a paper bag containing a "secret weapon" to use against the goblins.  The goblins break into the house and transport Joshua to Creedence's chapel, where Joshua opens the bag, revealing a "double-decker Bologna sandwich".  He eats the sandwich, making his body poisonous to the goblins; he then touches the Stonehenge Stone, which destroys Creedence.

     The family returns home, where Joshua's mother is seen eating food from the refrigerator.  The food, unknown to the family, has been poisoned by the family of goblins who took over their home during their exchange in the country.  The film ends with Joshua walking in on a group of goblins eating his mother's green, bloated torso off of the kitchen counter and offering him a bite.  Joshua screams in horror.

     Re-watching this film today on my Blu-ray edition gives me an awesome sense on nostalgia and many giggles throughout the whole film considering how terribly done it was...  However I believe that was likely what the director was going for which makes me certain that he won't mind me giving a single star out of 5.  It's a film that is just as bad as the Garbage Pail Kids Movie and belongs on a horror collectors shelf who loves bad horror films.

⭐

Source:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_2

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